Monday, March 26, 2007

:homesick:

Woke up wif a heady feeling today.Not feeling gud or bad.but feeling sick! (is that bad?)
skip da lecture n went fo physio class.got late n teacher suggested me to go home (hostel).loathe..
i'm sick.i have temperature,i got flu,cough..it happens evry week!OMG!! i cant believe that!
sumwhere sumhow i figured out.i miss my mum..called her today but she's buzy.i hafta understand her world of bizi-ness -->business.

Let's talk about my family. I have a mom, dad, 4 sisters,a bro, and 4 cats that each have distinct roles in my life (which are not represented by the order of the aforementioned list, by the way). I care about my family. We're pretty close knit. However, I don't think I have even once truly missed being home, barring the food and my queen-sized bed.

So,what do i miss?

I still cant figure out what frustrates me. I was looking forward to college in that I could move away from my family, absolutely, and I am enjoying the freedom immensely; at the cost of being near my family, though, it doesn't always seem worth it.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - I have no idea who said that, and I doubt I even quoted it correctly, but it also strikes a shallow chord. Sometimes, absence just makes you forget.

My mind tells me that I must logically "miss" my family because I'm physically absent from the everyday events and interactions that I know are going on without me. I know that I "miss" my best friends who are at school in Malaysia coz I'm not seeing them every day, and weekly phone conversations rarely go past the catching-up of notable events in our lives and we miss out on the daily funny moments or trials that reveal each other's personalities. But, I have to admit that "maintaining" a relationship is much less emotionally taxing than striving to feed a "growing" relationship, in the way of friends at least.

Being at home, I found that my emotional isolation is a comfortable place! I enjoy talking to each of my family members on the phone once or twice a week and hearing what they're up to.
And I feel emotionally depressed about not being around them.

Erm..maybe because of that i miss being home?

When summer is over,school starts,I'l come back to Ukraine, I'l become an emotionial wreck! I think that since I've been deprived of the little daily moments for so long!

I miss shoping with my sisters,arguing with mommy n dad,jalan2 around town..

Whats my problem of missing home so much?Maybe because of this country itself?or the weather?or maybe the community around me..

eff the besh at 8:45 PM

4comments

4 Comments

at 12:02 AM Anonymous said...: I have to say that in times like this we have to FORCE ourself to be optimistic as we can, stretch as further as we can and look at the bright light instead of crying over the dark room.

Times like this tests one's courage and patient and STRENGTH over troubles and issues that constantly (if i may use that word, constant) fall over one's head.

And rejoice! If we are able to stretch wide enough for us to be able to survive, then rejoice! Look at the bright side, always. As in my humble opinion there's always a bright side to everything, even death.

I think we're better off here than Malaysia, in a lot of way. At least we get to meet each other.

:D

And that ends my sincere uplifting comments for today. Hope it'll lift your spirit up. If it still fails, there's always the phone and we'll think of some ways to cheer each other up. ;)
at 12:11 AM Anonymous said...: oh yes i forgot to mention a very vital part of the solution. You are suffering from depression, YES or NO? YES.

And so you go on enlisting these very normal occuring stuffs that affects your mood - surroundings, community, weather, etc etc etc.

Isn't it obvious that you're blaming the community, surroundings, weather for what you're feeling?

Trust me dear. Blaming ALWAYS makes you feel good, but it doesn't solve the problems. Especially in times like this.

I suggest you sit down, list 10 THINGS that you CAN (note that when i say CAN means you can do, not like "i want to fly" or "i want to meet my mum etc". Those things only happens in your dream) DO here.

Please, start now. 10 things.

And start doing them 1 by 1 by 1.

For me, there's always malaysia-today.net and wikipedia.com where i get to read about all the wonderful things in the world.

Like just now I read about Malacanang Palace and how it served as a place of glory for many of Phillipines grand elite (including IMELDA MARCOS that had 2500 pairs of shoes and assets of 25 billion dollars sucked out of the phillipino peoples!!!)

Click here to read about Imelda Marcos assets - phew!
at 2:31 AM Anonymous said...: Do the CALORIE TEST!!!

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/joybauernutrition/9973/calorie-iq-test
at 10:26 AM taufiq said...: Uuu ade org homesick..